🌷Simon giving into the Martin thing and immediately internal monologuing “I hate myself. 🌹Simon stealing Leah’s cut your eyes to the side strategy and using it on Martin It wouldn’t be fair otherwise” –Blue being a smooth bitch
🌹the part where Simon and Blue touch hands oh my god !!!!! 🌷did we all just forget that Simon ran a tumblr called Passion Pit OBSESSION I mean, I’m just saying” –Simon being a smooth bitch 🌹 “.or we could do things other than talking. 🌷When Blue calls Simon cute and grammatical and Simon calls him that back. 🌹 “being secure in your masculinity isn’t the same as being straight” –somebody finally fucking said it!! 🌷Leah dressing extra-feminine to protest gender bender day that is the most next-level foreshadowing I have ever seen in my whole fucking life 🌹 I am literally not joking, that actually happens in this book and it took me FOUR REREADS to notice it. 🌷Simon thinking Blue dressing up like a cheerleader is cute, one chapter after they sarcastically intone the concept of ogling cheerleaders. 🌹 Wednesday is gender bender day, which basically amounts to Southern straight people cross dressing. 🌷“Partying harder than Blue’s mom since 2014” 🌹Blue being an asshole and attaching a picture of a Reese’s to an email 🌷“Maybe you should stop having heterosexual sex” 🌷I cant believe the post-presidency Barack Obama joke wasn’t in the book because that was fucking awesome 🌹I still think Abby and Leah should have ended up together, especially after that one line about how they really were just "trying to impress each other"? why was that there if they‘re both Really Straight? 🌷 Simon going on a rant about all the different places they came from and how they all got here and Abby replying with “slavery, in my case” 🌹thanks Simon this is the best quote I’ve read in my damn life Or Justin.Īnyway, it really makes you worry about all the hype surrounding sex."
People lie and get fake IDs and sneak into bars, and for this? I honestly think I’d rather make out with Bieber. I don’t think I was expecting it to taste like ice cream, but holy fucking hell. 🌷 "I take a sip of my beer, and it’s - I mean, it’s just astonishingly disgusting. 🌹the entire chapter where Simon drinks a beer 🌹the unfortunately correct representation of what high school theater is like. 🌷the suck and dick nice weather typo, and Blue subsequently bringing it up, like, eight times 🌹“there are some socks that shouldn’t be washed by your mom” 🌹I can’t believe “mom, pick me up, kids are drinking alcohol” isn’t in the book 🌷Simon putting Martin in his phone as “monkey’s asshole” In honor of me seeing the movie early and then seeing it again on a cheesy movie date: THE BEST MOMENTS OF THIS BOOK, NEW AND IMPROVED!!
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